Why can’t I just stop?
Why can’t this ugly disruptive illness get away from me.
I feel completely trapped. Unable to move unable to breathe.
Bulima has a tight grip on me. As soon as I feel like I can go through with recovery it drags me right back down.
I want help, but bulima does not allow me. It shouts and screams and hits out. Making sure I keep my mouth shut.
I can’t remember the last time I just ate normal. Without thinking of the place I will purge before even seeing my food.
I really want to stop this. But have no guide to know where to go, what to do and how to face up to my worst enemy, my own thoughts.